12 FROST 120
She hadn’t known his name.
The woman didn’t know why, but she didn’t realize it until they had made it only partly clear of the corpse and the Hungered — but she didn’t know his name. She doubted any of the others knew it, either. You don’t really care about names unless there was something extraordinary about it. She licked her lips as the group slowed. They never stopped running, but the new leader had sense enough not to exhaust them.
“What was his name?”
Once more, there was a moment where all attention was on her and she regretted opening her mouth. Jieun whined beside her. There’s no point in knowing; he’s dead and gone. Well, so was she. But she was also a hallucination and the woman doubted she really knew that.
“Toben.” It was the scarred woman again, their impromptu leader.
A moment of silence stretched between them as their pace slowed further, down to a walk. They should have put enough distance between them and the immediate danger, but it lead her to wonder. They seemed particularly stricken by the loss of the boy. Why hadn’t they stopped him? Why hadn’t either of them volunteered? Maybe it was shame. Shame that they had not been as valiant.
Fuck valiance, fuck shame.
There was new energy in her steps. A heated emotion she had tossed aside when the sentencing had been complete. When the gavel that would put the nails in her coffin had slammed down. Not anger, not frustration. Certainly not elation; there was nothing worthy of celebrating. A manic light touched her eyes, made them glow more as she took the helm.
Fuck the sky guard.
Her breath was rushed, like she was on the verge of yet another attack, but her mind felt clear. Clearer than her lungs, even if Jieun still lingered in the shadows like a beacon of hope and impossibility. The terrain around them echoed their footsteps, threw the sound in various locations like a child playing with a bouncing ball. It swallowed up all that they were for a moment as darkness took hold. But she could see; she could think.
Fuck Toben, and his valiant, morbidly beautiful efforts.
The exit was not anywhere in sight. The torches they had before had either burned out or been forgotten. The darkness was a cold comfort, and the other two seemed almost reluctant to follow her. But she’d always found that her usefulness laid in leading others. Not so much as leader or a guide, but just pointing the way. Rocks skittered around them. Something was there in the dark, but there was always something there.
She could feel the grin stretched out her face, the prick of tears in the corner of her eyes because while this wasn’t elation, it was acceptance. It was understanding. It was an epiphany that should have hit her a long time ago and it did so now full force. They were going to die. They were going to die.
We’re going to die.
