Shout it Louder [Æros]

[Khyan Nykara]

Continued from Come On and Feel the Love, Like a Sinner
6th Cinderfall, Ash 122

Now that the deed was done, Khyan collapsed onto his back in a groaning sigh. The passion of the moment had caused him to set aside the worrying thoughts of what happened in the midst of things, but his mind returned to those concerns as soon as his senses were his own again. Letting his Semblance Rune return to disuse, he loosed a softer sigh, now.

Eros spoke, then, and drew Khyan's thoughts back from the recent past to the very present, and he smiled almost gleefully at the confession presented him. It was, indeed, exactly what he wanted- To feel distinguished from prior lovers. Exceptional, as Eros was to him. And to hear him say it felt momentous. Even without his Semblance active, he'd spend enough time in Eros' aura to know that these words came neither easily nor often. He knew, too, that the man believed what he was saying and wasn't paying him mere lip service.

"Just so, Dominus." He agreed, his eyes looking weary in spite of his absolute mirth at this welcome news. "Perfectly yours." His smile faded slightly at the apology. That seemed another rarity for Eros, but not so welcome a peculiarity. He didn't wish to burden the man with concerns- least of all when he'd certainly aided and abetted any crimes for which he might feel culpable.

"No, no- It's fine. You know it is. I could sense you using your Mesmer, so you're aware what I was doing. I'm..." He curled closer to Eros. His body felt drained, and his emotions muted. He couldn't tell if it was just because he'd grown accustomed to the extremeness of moments prior, or if he'd actually somehow done damage to the way he processed emotion. The latter possibility might have freaked him out far more, if not for the exact symptoms that would have been concerning- The muting of emotion.

"...sort of a parasite, that way. I can feed into my lovers' feelings and adopt them. It's like having my cake and eating it, too, or... Well, maybe not cake, but..." Another monosyllabic C word might have better sufficed. "In any event, you felt it echo back with your Mesmer, so... You know that I wanted everything you gave me, don't you?"

[Aeros]

TIMESTAMP: -
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With face entirely obscured by platinum locks, Æros lay there, Khy in his arms, heart still slamming in his chest. He felt his energy rapidly dwindling, finding it ever more difficult to think. Any movement made his head spin, dizzy and disoriented, but at least now, he had no reason to do anything other than lie still.

As his Mesmer faded away and stillness returned to his body, mind achieving some semblance of quiet, he heard Khy's voice in reply to his own. He…honestly didn't understand why the younger man wanted to be his so very badly. That's different than a casual partner, different from somebody one collides with every once in a while. Æros very much saw his appeal in that regard, confident in his skills as a lover and in his sex appeal. He understood with perfect clarity why people continuously came back to him…but what was he beyond a good fuck? Outside of that, why would anyone want anything to do with him? That's what wasn't clicking in his head. Beyond his body, beyond his physical skills, what was there to him at all worth liking? If he knew the answer, he felt, then maybe he wouldn't want to die so very badly– by his own judgment, he held little value whatsoever.

Words were lost on when it came to regarding Khy's reiteration of a sentiment he hadn't even meant to say. Instead, he just squeezed the boy in his arms, then lifted a heavy arm to his head and moved the hair out of his face. Through blurry vision, Æros turned his gaze down toward his lover then moved to kiss his forehead, lingering there.

"Is it?" He swallowed, pausing for a moment. "Your pleasure was…barely distinguishable from what rang back as my own. What I felt that was uniquely yours was…pain, really, and I'd lost myself in the brightness thereof."
With lips brushing against his lover's skin as he spoke, his voice sounded almost crestfallen, reminiscent of shame.

It was weird for him to feel guilt like this. Rare was it that he would at all feel bad for being rough with someone, because any time he was, they had known what they were getting into.

"...and…did I imagine it? Or...you fall unconscious, did you not? Your entire body went limp in my arms, and in the heat of my fervor, I was…locked out of reacting. You came back, but then the magic stopped– flickering, did I push you too far…? Was that my fault…?" The guilt in his voice was palpable.

With everything in his head winding down, his heart and breath slowing and exhaustion setting in, it was hard for him to mask emotions from his voice like he normally did. Much as he wanted to, he couldn't suppress the fact that he'd interpreted his partner's break as his own fault.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Khyan Nykara]

"It's complicated, Starlight..." Khyan sighed wearily, trying to muster the presence of mind to articulate what he meant- also while conscious of avoiding what might come off as condescending or pedantic. He knew his new lover wouldn't have liked that element appending their peculiar interpersonal dynamic.

"A lot of what I was feeling was very similar to what you were." He elaborated, "The excitement, the hunger, the driving need, the attraction... and much more we shared. The pain was my own, yes, but it was also quite divergent from anything you were feeling. The commonalities can get lost in the mix, you know? Amplified, but indistinct." It was strange to consider these things. He'd never gotten that in depth about it. Most lovers weren't even aware he was doing it, and he wasn't typically keen for them to find out. It felt like a sort of violation on his part. That was some of the fun of it. That he had a little secret whilst he siphoned off their pleasure to double his own. With Eros it hadn't been a secret, but he had a distinction that made it even better- With him it wasn't parasitic at all, but symbiotic. He benefited from it as much as Khyan did.

Khyan lifted a hand to caress Eros' cheek. It was an adoring and a consoling gesture. There was even something of apology in his dark eyes as his brow knitted and their eyes met.

"I'm sorry if I made you doubt yourself..." He whispered, ratifying the apology with a gentle, chaste kiss. What a strange thing to follow what they'd just done.

"That..." He took in a deep breath upon hearing that his little lapse had been notable enough to bear mention. "I wasn't... unconscious, exactly, I was just..." He bit his lip and let his head fall back, "A little lost. And no, it wasn't your fault at all, it was part and parcel to what we've just been talking about. With all the æther coalescing between us, I overwhelmed myself and got... Well, kind of lodged in your Aura. I was stuck on your side of things for a moment and I had a spot of trouble coming out of it, but I did." He lifted his head to kiss him again.

"I did. And I'm fine, and we're fine, and you did nothing wrong, hm?" Khyan was eager to dismiss the matter summarily. As far as he was concerned, it was naught but a fluke. It embarrassed him that it happened and it dealt him woe to think that it had been pronoucned enough that Eros seemed to feel guilty about it.

"How about..." He started to scoot away slightly, "I fetch us something to drink. Where do you keep your liquor?"

[Aeros]

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Though it was difficult for him to think, Æros listened quietly as Khy explained, acquiring something of an understanding. The other man was…essentially perceiving the input of two bodies at once, different from his Mesmer, yet complementary. It was a fascinating thing to consider– he only wished that he, too, could experience it. Even without, his own magic made lying with the other man an experience nigh to divine; what would it be like if each of them had both runes? Wildly overwhelming? Unsustainable? Dangerous?

But as jumbled thoughts circled in his skull, Æros paused to voice his more prevalent concern, that of the fact that he thought he'd, one way or another, harmed Khy to a point where the boy lost control of himself.

His lover's response was just as sweet as he'd been in the past, looking up at the Fæ with features suffused in adoration alongside more consoling notes. Æros' eyes would close at the caress, gently turning his face to lean into it. And when Khy spoke, followed up with so soft a kiss, eyes of gold would reopen and a subtle, warmed smile drew itself onto the elf's tired features.

Listening as the other explained, his eyes would narrow just a little in consideration. The explanation was…concerning, in a way. Though before he was able to process much of what was said, Khy kissed him again, softening the worry in his features.

"Well…full glad am I, then, that it was not my fault and that you're well. I want you to enjoy yourself as much as I do." In tandem with an exhale, his smile widened just a bit, an almost bashful look on his face. "After all…would be unduly cruel of me to not care about both your pleasure and well-being given how well you served me, and after an experience so enchantingly unique, too…" Æros spoke affectionately, freely giving his lover praise and adjusting himself to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

Though his thoughts on attachment were still murky at best, dimming back into his own fear after the two had come apart, the half-Fæ very much enjoyed seeing the delight on Khy's features when he said sweet things.

But as Æros gazed upon the younger man, Khy spoke of fetching them something to drink, slightly pulling away as he did. "That would be nice…over there," voice naught but a murmur, he lifted a hand to point towards a liquor cabinet a few feet away from the bed, against the wall, as he spoke.

And then, confusion colored his features as he noticed the reds and oranges that had floated to the surface of his skin. Squinting, he lifted his head and drew his hand closer, palm a mix of warm tones and deep purples.

"How…how long have I looked like this?" He sounded dazed, befuddlement on his face.

The Færie had never seen his skin look like this in his life.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Khyan Nykara]

"Of course..." Khyan intoned softly, indicating a level of expectation that he hadn't in the remotest sense felt. Flying blind without his Semblance engaged, he wouldn't have presumed that Eros would bear those sentiments. Perhaps he'd spend enough time mingling in his Aura- even losing himself there- that he might have anticipated it, but somehow he didn't. His doubts were strong indeed, which made Eros' kind words that much more welcome.

"It's nice, sweet Dominus, to be cared for." He mused, as he scooted down the length of the bed and off of it, to pad over to the liquor cabinet indicated by his host. He opened it up to peruse the options. Some bottles he recognised, others he didn't, but he decided to go with the same, potent spirit they'd imbibed earlier in the evening before switching to wine. Khyan had accomplished the evening's mission, so if he overdid it from here it was like to be fine. He was typically a tame enough drunk that he needn't worry about rushing out into the street in the buff and attracting dangerous attention or something of the like. Least of all when he was so cozy right where he was.

He poured a glass for Eros, and placed it on the nightstand nearest him. He glanced over as his latest lover posed his bemused question, and blinked.

"Oh..." He'd noticed the shift in the midst of their intimacy, but he'd thought it was some expression of ecstasy. He thought, perhaps, that he'd unlocked a new level of pleasure in the man and that it presented in the form of the shift in shades, but he also assumed it would dwindle in the aftermath.

"Is... that not normal?" He poured his own drink, then brought the glass as well as the bottle over as he sat on the edge of the bed to get a closer look.

"Why, Starlight... am I going to have to start calling you Sunset? Well..." He placed the bottle on the nightstand, "Whatever the case..." Khyan lifted his glass. "Here's to celestial bodies."

[Aeros]

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When Æros looked at Khy, he didn't see a slave, he only saw the man as inferior by blood. And even then, he didn't actually care much about that, especially in moments like these. Honestly, at times, he'd almost forget that they weren't simply acting for sake of the power dynamic.

"Only to you, dear lover." His voice had a nectarine sweetness to it that would've surprised him had he possession of any self awareness at the moment.

Æros watched as the smaller man slipped away and walked over to the liqueur cabinet. Oddly enough, he found the lack of Khy's warmth to be…uncomfortable in these moments, but chose not to voice this part. Plus, it's not like he was about to object to being served by him.

But when the half-elf posed his question, Khy almost sounded disappointed? Æros didn't know why; regardless of the actual reason for the change, he was definitely the source, and shouldn't such a thing be flattering?

"It's very much not," he laughed, a little bewildered.

As he stared at his hand, he wove his aether into himself as he would for glamour normally, ink blue swirling into his palm like pigment dropped into water. Had their coupling pushed him to unintentionally glamour himself warmer colours? Was it the result of their aether bleeding into one another? Perhaps simply that of the sheer intensity of his ecstasy?

"I…mean. I can undo it as I can anything else…but I've never had sex result in my features shifting unintentionally?" Æros shrugged, seeming entirely unbothered now, a curious, pleased sort of interest on his face. "Starlight or Sunset, it's you who pushed me to be like this–" he smiled with the slightest start to a laugh, "...and for that, you really are something truly special. I suppose I'll have to keep you around then, huh?"

Having collected his glass while he talked, "to celestial bodies, then."

At the clink of their glasses, he downed the whole thing, grimacing in the process as the liqueur entered his system. He placed the glass back down and moved closer to Khy, kissing the man's cheek.

"...keep treating me like this and maybe I will need to negotiate with your current master," words not much more than a whisper.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Khyan Nykara]

Khyan, for his part, didn't really think of himself as a slave either. Despite a month of training to suggest his life would be rigid, miserable and servile, he'd come right out and almost immediately met Eros. With him, it truly did feel more like roleplay than true life. He mused that he might have ended up in the exact same sort of relationship with the man, even if he'd been a full patrician. Eros would still have been his superior... his dominus, regardless of the collar. The things he liked about Khyan would have been the same, and his behaviour would have likely yielded the same reactions from the mostly-human. It would have all just be easier. But, Khyan knew all too well, that sometimes the easier affairs were the least interesting. The challenges of their situation and the risk of being caught out lent enchantment beyond what their complementary runes offered them.

Khyan blinked at Eros' response to the shift in colour. It hadn't been disappointment on his part that led to his muted reaction, but a cavalierness. That derived in part from still dealing with the aftermath of overwhelmed emotions. But it was also simply ignorance on his part this this instance was such an aberration for the other man. When he saw how surprised Eros truly was, and heard that it had been another mark of the exception in Khyan, he grinned broadly.

"You're putting me on!" He playfully smacked at Eros' arm. "I told you I wanted someone no one else had, and so you did this to trick me!" He wasn't sure it was for his benefit or something he intended to pull the rug from under to tease him later, but it seemed the most logical explanation to Khyan.

Khyan didn't shoot his drink this time, but neither did he sip delicately. He was still a bit troubled by his foray beyond his limits, and by the weird nebula obscuring the extremes of his emotional spectrum. He licked his lips as he placed the glass aside and nestled up to Eros.

"You're such a bloody tease..." He rolled his eyes, and tipped his head sidelong to kiss Eros, "But I wouldn't have it any other way." He sighed, salsified and placed his palm upon Eros' leg. "I wonder what it would be like... To be your slave, rather than just to play as if I were."

[Aeros]

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Æros smiled, something bright on tired features. "I assure you, of this, I am telling the truth. I'm a dancer, not an actor– I couldn't fake genuine surprise like that," he did sound sincere.

And in this case, he was. There was zero intention behind the Færie’s shift in colour, pretty as it was. Given the way he channeled aether through his form to change very minor things like colours, he actually wasn't that surprised that the symbiosis of their aether achieved something like this, what with how brilliantly radiant everything he had been feeling was perceived in his head. When his eyes were closed, he often saw his emotions, and those of others when using Mesmer, as a variety of different shades. Why did these specific ones manifest, however? That much he could not say.

"...if it means much, I normally would never voice praise like this, especially if a lie. Wouldn't want to give somebody the wrong impression, now would I?" While he was a fan of many types of lies, he did avoid those that would foster undo attachment, as that was not something he wanted at all.

As he said this, Khy returned to him and the half-elf immediately wrapped his limbs around the boy, both embracing him and tangling their legs together. For whatever reason, holding the boy brought him great solace.

Telling the truth in these moments, however, still managed to give him palpable anxiety despite everything, present company included. Parts of him didn't know how he'd handle continuing to give the false impression of his life if he never cut Khy off and the thought of admitting to his circumstances was…unbearable. Other parts, however, were afraid of Khy getting attached because he was very sure that the boy would end up finding him hollow, and then he would leave, but only after Æros himself became attached. And then, there were his concerns about leading Khy on too much and disappearing on his own. The thought of so sweet a countenance being anything akin to heartbroken made his chest tighten.

Even should he find himself walking the tentative line of something more meaningful with the boy, what the hell did that even mean? Æros had no understanding of what a healthy relationship even looked like, much less how to handle his own emotions.

But when his lover spoke again, Æros smiled, expression impish, and kissed his lover back. "Teasing you is so hard to resist, cute as your reactions always are…" the elf bore a genuinely warm, affectionate tone to his voice, though it was threaded with a mischief that should sound familiar. "…and much as I may jest, I am but a man. My heart, mind, and body all three are not impossible to win over, should you jump through the right hoops if such a thing is your want."

While all true, he had no concept of what those hoops even were, nor did he quite comprehend the full weight of the emotional baggage he bore.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"

[Khyan Nykara]

"All right..." Khyan sighed in mock indignation, "As you are of a higher caste and I of the lowest, I am obliged to believe whatever you say- Dancer, actor or otherwise." But he chortled and leaned into him, resting his head on that starry shoulder with its moonlit waterfall of platinum pouring over it.

He did believe him, now that the point had been pressed, which made the situation that much more flattering. Even if it weren't true and Eros had put in the effort to emphasise otherwise would have represented effort enough to satisfy Khyan's hunger for the man's affection, but believing him was, of course, preferable.

He lifted his head to look Eros in the face as he continued to assert his veracity. Now that was exciting. His emotions were beginning to stir again suggesting, to Khyan's relief, that he had not in fact done irreparable harm to his ability to process feeling by overstepping during their coupling. He gleefully returned the ardent embrace that received him upon his return to bed.

Unwitting to and unfocused upon whatever was going on behind the constellations revolving upon Eros' brow, Khyan relished the almost doting warmth of the newfound affection. It felt different now. Perhaps their pairing had truly been potent enough to shift the paradigm between them. He was tempted to delve deeper with his magical talents, but the dread of finding fault in these tacit promises was greater than the desire for clarity. Besides, he felt he needed a bit of a break from Semblance for a spell. Ideally the whole night.

As their kiss parted, Khyan's lips were grinning so broadly he thought his cheeks might be sore. He bit his bottom lip and chuckled,

"I have no idea why you find me so bloody cute, but I'm not complaining with the rewards being what they are..." He embraced Eros with his legs and his arms, squeezing possessively and letting out a little moan as he did so. Only when he relaxed his limbs did he silence the phonation.

"Am I a camel, Starlight, that you should dangle such a carrot before my chops?" He sighed, "I know I must come off terribly desperate. I assure you it is as much a compliment to you as your shifting hues are to me. I swear I typically display a great deal more agency."

[Aeros]

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Æros rolled his eyes and chuckled at the comment. “Obliged?” He clicked his tongue, “...such a shame. I’d rather you just believed me, but if that is how it must be, I’ll accept.” The Færie spoke with the lilt of light sarcasm.

The boy in his arms was light and small, skin smooth, soft and supple, and so the half-elf very much enjoyed simply running his hands over the other’s body. Though he maintained the wrap of his arms that enclosed their embrace, he drew fingertips over contours of his lover’s taut musculature passively, almost unable to resist doing.

While vulnerability was hard for Æros, affection, in a general sense, was not. In the past, he’d often use expressions thereof to manipulate people to do or give to him what he wanted before slinking away, never to be seen again. While such was not the case here, the basic ministrations of such things were the same, only difference being that this time, he meant them. Alone together, having had the spellbinding experiences that they’d shared, he found it easy to express his adoration, even as the brackish waters of fear and anxiety crashed waves within.

The fact that Khy was unaware how his general mannerisms upon features like his weren’t inherently alluring was a bit odd. One would think that he’d have a little more self awareness…or maybe it was just that he was so captivated with Æros that it was his affection, specifically, that he didn’t understand. In that case, the feeling was very much mutual, strange as such a thing was given the fact that they mutually continue to express these feelings to one another.

“Really? I’d have thought somebody so hard to resist would bear confidence more similar to mine,” his voice a low murmur, resting his own head against the other’s.

When Khy mentioned how desperate he likely came across, Æros giggled, almost pixieish at the sentiment. “Mhmm, that’s exactly how I’ve taken it. Desperation can be very off putting, stifling, even…when it’s demanding, or whiny, or from somebody…less…appealing. But from you? Oh, you are an oasis in this desert, dear Khy…” He spoke as he shifted his head to lean in and kiss the boy again, something lingering, slow, romantic in nature.

In part, he did this as the smallest bit of fear bit into his organs due to what he’d said. He almost felt like he’d said too much, but that wasn’t the only reason. Æros loved the softness of his lover’s lips, his taste, and the simple pleasures of letting his mind drift in the moment.

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'Thoughts'

"Vallenor Tongue/Speech"

"Vastien Tongue/Speech"

"Valasren Tongue/Speech"

"Common Tongue/Speech"